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staying alive



Marton-in-Cleveland, TS8 9ZEUnited Kingdom


  • gem lee


It's Thursday morning 6.50am & the sun is streaming in through the kitchen window. Radio 1 is rumbling through Alexa. I'm having a brew. Yorkshire . lacto free milk with a sweetener. Everyone is in bed. I'm contented enough. Well as well as you can be with terminal diagnosis. I'm a very social person but I also enjoy solitude, This magic hour is bliss, I reflect, regroup get my ducks in a row.

Reflection is great. I've been doing a lot of it in lockdown . Feel like lockdown has slowed our roll a little which in turn gives us time to think. For a procrastinator like me this can lead to anxiety.

There you go I said it. My anxiety is having a 90's rave. It's blowing it's bloody whistle, glowsticks n all. Yup I've been/had to much time to think which is always a dangerous place for me to visit. The recent links to Kawasaki's ; covid presenting in children has given me the jitters.

When Grayson was 3 he was seriously ill with pneumonia. Horrific. They questioned Kawasaki's at the time. I know more than I'd like to.

So when ur mind feels like a mouse caught in a trap what do u do?

Prior to cancer running was my therapy, it's now dog walking. Not quite the same, but it helps me being outside in nature. Yesterday we got a beach walk in - bliss.

As a family we've had a sad week with loss of the legend Chop dog & the legendary Granny Jean 91. Often as it does, the juxtaposition of a birth in beautiful baby Iyla helped restore the equilibrium. Granny J was Graeme ( the hubby ) gran. What a character. Unapologetically herself, unafraid, F.I.E.R.C.E original girl power. Rest Easy.

We have our second lockdown birthday tomorrow! Grayson will be 8! 8!!! Where have the years gone sing the chorus of perplexed parents. Seriously though time flies I'm hyper aware of this.

Until next time. Stay Safe.


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